Taking this seriously, as I think it is meant, then you should not be thinking about Maria. She is running her own life as she wishes.

Think more about yourself and your judgement of others:

-”too pretty to be a pornstar,”

So you wouldn’t marry a pornstar, on the basis they they are not pretty. So a woman who gives sex willingly is not on your list. There is a conflict there. What you want is not what you want. Go easy on yourself. You have probably been programmed as a young person by a traditional religious education. That will have given you some reference points as to what is a “good woman”

Then, you mature as a young man, ayou find that you adore sex and sexuality. At times, those feelings can be overpowering.

They are meant to be overpowering, so don’t worry about that. You had to be designed to be like that, otherwise the dinosaurs might still be ruling the Earth. The human race seems to be a comprimise betweeen physical strength, brain power, and reproductive capability. We are pretty damn good at all of those, but none of them alone could possibly have made us the top dog.

But we have set ourselves up for a punch in the balls by having an “ideal”of a mate (woman) that is almost impossible to meet. The origins were a few hundred years ago. They were imposed by men to subjugate women; to keep the female in her place as a home-maker, and a baby-making machine. Women bided their time, showed their genious occasionally, and then put it right.

Since then we have moved on. We now know and accept that women are at least as capable as men in most domains, and better in others. The reason for any differences is probably due to the effects of progesterone (for women) and testosterone (for men). We men are supecharged and die young. Ladies last longer, but are slower in a sprint. Men make decisions on the toss of a coin, Women may deliberate for a few days or years. Both of those strategies have their advantages.

Together we are ubeatable.

So, if you follow the path outlined, you might find that there is no conflict at all between being a pornstar and a good woman. You might then realise that a pornstar might make a good mate. You might marry one. You might be a very happy husband. The guy next door might have married an “ideal good Christian woman.” Both of them might spend their entire life in torment, fighting against there genetic heritage to be “good people”.
”
Only you can decide what you want to do. Don’t let history, other people, and the books decide. Decide for yourself. If you are man enough, then get on a plane and go see Maria. She night tell you to get lost. But, if you are good enough, she might just say yes and marry you, or whatever.

The reason I bothered to post this is that I did have a conventional marriage to a conventional woman. I did the “right thing.” Two children were born, educated correctly, and are viable members of the human race. Then, one day, I met another woman in another country. She was selling sex to make a pathetic living. We had little, if anything, in comman except an intense desire to make babies together. That is all it took. Both of us knew it was stupid, crazy. The marriage proposal went something like “I got a problem” ; “Yup, me too”; “You too young”; “Yup, you too old”; “You marry me?”; “Yup, OK”

Yes, there were an age and cultural barriers, but nowadays, it would take a nuclear incident to tear us apart, and even then, I’m not sure we wouldn’t find a way back somehow. If E=MC^2, then M=E/C^2. I think we have enough enrgy together to rebuild the Earth, easily.

The happiness we have together in just one day surpasses everything I have known in my entire life. Sex is about 10% of it, and is incredibly good, but a MacDonalds or Burger King together is ecstacy. Being tired as hell at the end of a hard day’s work feels good.

If a shagged out whore is your number, then ring it. You’ll never regret it.